When littles speak....

After a few weeks of very rough school time this momma has decided we are going unconventional. We will still be doing Abeka and we will still have books (I'm not that creative) but if she wants to stand on her head to do school she can! I have put too much pressure on myself to make her do school "the right way." Isn't the reason for homeschooling to cater to my childs needs and not the rules of a classroom? Don't get me wrong. I'm NOT a good "out of the box" kind of girl. Unless its food....then I don't like it out of the box. Yuck!
But I digress. I've had way to many bad mommy moments lately and I truly believe that this is what I am called to do in and for my family right now. So instead of screwing up my kid by screaming at her for not knowing what word rhymes with Fire and Wire (even though there is a PICTURE of it on the page......), I'm going to learn how to teach her the way SHE needs, not the way the books say I should. My daughter is very smart, can read and do math better than I EVER imagined she would be able to at the age of 5, and I need to start seeing how far she has come and not how much she has left. I'm embarrassed to say it took a very unlovely mommy fail to come to this conclusion, but I'm thankful for second chances and a sweet baby girl that forgives her mommy even when I totally didn't deserve it. Its time for me to start learning from her gentleness and laughter! And next week, when we have a melt down, we will both get a time out. We will both get to think about our reactions to the situation. And we will both learn together how to be patient, and love each other better.
Who knew a 5 year old could teach me so much! God definitely blessed me by letting me borrow her. <3 

Matthew 19:14 KJV
But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

His eye in on the sparrow.

I have been thinking about Gods grace. I'm thankful for it ALL the time. But sometimes more than others its a lot more evident. When tragedy  strikes. When a role model let's you down. When things just seem to be falling apart. Some people I know turn from God in those times. Even blame God. I can't say that I've ever blamed God out right. But more times than I can count I have asked Him why. Pleaded with Him to just tell me WHY so I could move on. I don't think its wrong to ask why. God knows I'm human. I'm not all knowing. I'm an emotional, visible being, trusting in an all powerful God. I know that in my head and my heart. But sometimes just a little answer to why seems a lot easier than just trusting His plan. That's when God gives me little pushes. When he makes something just a little easier. When He gives me peace in the very middle of my storm. It doesn't make my storm go away. But it makes it easier to bear.
HIS strength is made perfect in MY weakness. If being weak is how I grow stronger then maybe that's my why. If my storm was easy would I cry out for His hand? If my trials were just "What to make for dinner" would I know the power of His grace? That would be an all inclusive "nope!"
So maybe next time when I don't know why, and my heart cries out for healing and grace, I can be thankful He brought me to it so I can learn to let Him bring me through it.

"Why should I feel discouraged,
why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely,
and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He.
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me."