In October of last year my grandpas already troubled health started getting much much worse. By November the doctors said that his kidneys were not working right. Grandpa had a pretty good thanksgiving (it was always his favorite) and even a pretty good good Christmas. By January we knew it wouldn't be long before grandpa finally got to go home.
The doctor came into the hospital room to tell him and grandma that his kidneys were no longer filtering. He told them he didn't want to do dialysis because of his health. Grandpa said he didn't want it. The doctor, trying to make sure he understood what it would mean, asked him if he knew what that meant. Grandpa said, "yes, I'm going home." The doctor, thinking Grandpa didn't understand the question asked again, "Do you know what will happen if you do not do dialysis?" and my grandpa said, "yes, I'm going to heaven."
That is probably one of the most reassuring stories that I have ever heard. He was not afraid of the next step, because he knew exactly what it would mean. I am so very thankful that on that Mothers Day so long ago my grandpa answered Gods knocking on his hearts door and said yes.
He was a man who was my hero, a man who had a ton of grand kids but could make you feel like you were the one he loved most right at that moment (I really was the favorite, just don't tell anyone else...;) ), a man who gave his life to bring others to the savior who saved a sinner like him. A man who loved his wife, and family, and church.
I was thinking back about some of my favorite times with him. I remember playing hide and seek in the church (a couple of them) and getting caught and scolded, but seeing the twinkle in his eye. I remember when he would call and say, "We are going fishing, make me some Peanut Butter and Jelly" and hang up before you even got to ask what time, how many, and what kid of Jelly. Lol I remember on those fishing trips sometimes he would go out in his tube in the middle of the ponds and yell at us to be quiet because we were scaring the fish away. Lol I remember sitting in church with him and giggling when he would scare the congregation with his "WELL HLORY!" and "PREACH IT" and "mmmmmhhhmmmm, that's good stuff" or finish a sentence for whoever was preaching. I remember sitting there just talking about anything and everything and sitting on his lap while he told me about my dad, or about Jesus, or about the football game that was on tv. I remember him scaring the daylights of us by coming in a room and yelling at us just because it amused him to see how high we would jump.
I'm not gonna lie. Every once in a while I felt extremely selfish during those last few weeks. I wanted to keep my grandpa forever. Jesus was supposed to come back before he took him. It's no fun to say goodbye on this earth no matter how exciting the next hello is going to be.
But when all is said and done I would not ever ask him to stay and be so sick. Even though my heart hurts for myself, and my grandma, and my daddy, and all the rest of my family, thinking of him in heaven rejoicing makes it worth it. To know he isn't hurting or struggling anymore gives peace. To know exactly where he is and how much he longed to be there gives a peace that definitely passes all understanding.
The family that was around when when he went HOME tells an amazing story of Gods grace and peace. He didn't struggle or fight, he didn't have pain. God let him come peacefully before him. What a blessing!!!!
At his funeral we had church. It was one of the best church services of my life. It was one of the hardest of my life. But more than that it spoke of my grandpas testimony, and character. He sold out to God. He wasn't perfect. He was a SINNER saved by GRACE. And he was proud of it. I can't even imagine where all 136+ of us would be if it wasn't for that grace. God blessed our tribe because of my grandparents love for him. Not because of who they were, or what they had done, or how many churches they pastored, or how many people they won to Christ. Not for how many times he preached, or read the bible, or how many of their kids serve Him. He blessed them for their faithfulness. What an awesome heritage and legacy we have been left. Not everyone can say what we can all say about our heritage. I have always been proud of who I am. Where I came from. I have always known why we are so blessed. But now, more than ever, I am amazed and my heart is full with it.
So even when I have a sad thought or miss him, because being the ones left behind is very hard, I know that someday I will see him again. And while I am still here and living this crazy life, I will strive to bring honor to my God. Not because I want my grandpa or grandma to see what all I did for Christ, but because through their lives they have taught me to want to do it for Jesus.
And THAT is the greatest inheritance anyone could ever receive. <3
